Dang they truly believe US is the center of the world. Is absolutely baffling.
Weird…
According to the Bible no man, no angel, not even Jesus Christ himself knows when the rapture will be…
Huge fan of whoever convinced them to blame it on trump not releasing the Epstein files tho.
There’s no such mention of the rapture at all in the Bible. It was invented in the 19th century.
It was invented to distract us from the Trump/Epstein files
“Life was filled with guns and war,” the song begins, “and everyone got trampled on the floor. I wish we’d all been ready.”
Wow, sounds like we’re already living it today…
“Clearly, when he wrote with his own hand that no man would know the day or the hour, the Lord wasn’t counting on a genius like me coming along.”
- a whole shitload of different preachers
Joking aside, how do whole congregations avoid seeing the narcissism on some of these motherfuckers?
Which is strange, because Jesus is God and God is all knowing…
Also what disguy was saying of course.
But surely it won’t happen until after God sees those files. They might affect who gets raptured. /s
You know what? Sure. As long as they have a reason to release the files I’m down to support it.
I think if this idea were seeded into the Facebook frenzy that would have been diabolical
What if the rapture did happen but none of them were worthy?
Or what if the rapture happened and the only creature deemed to fit the criteria was a single highly surprised but very chill about it capybara?
Specifically this dude:
Oh, please no. I so desperately want humanity (and the planet) to be rid of these people.
Then the muslims take their place
Bro is totally not racist and brings up Muslim faith unannounced, fucking weirdo
What has Islam got to do with Race? I’m just saying that getting rid of Christians won’t make the earth into an atheist haven. Islam will logically take it’s place as it’s the second biggest religion.
The hell has this got to do with race???
We are used to him in the UK communities. He’s a well known prat.
That’s not a very nice thing to say ☹️
People of any race can be Muslim. When someone says “Christians are all crazy” do we say that they’re racist towards white people just because the majority of Christians are white?
So then why is it that when someone implies that Muslims are all crazy we assume that that is racism at work?
And it’s not exactly a random thing to bring up. Rapture is supposedly going to apply to Christians so even if it did happen, theoretically the Muslims would be left behind, and so in the context of the comic posted that says all the religious wackos are gone, he’s pointing out that they wouldn’t all be gone.
I’m lost on what is racist about this. Could you please explain?
Hang on lads, I’ve got an idea.
send them all to mars!
Wow, covid was an extremely shitty rapture.
explains a lot tbh.
I mean Jesus could release the files himself hes all powerful no?
He’s about to release the… Look squirrel!
Jesus is coming! Open your mouth!
Swallow the sins of man
But is he powerful enough to create a rock so heavy that even he can’t lift it?
Yeah but he doesn’t know how to use windows 11, so he’s just going to print out an email and send it in the post.
List of dates predicted for apocalyptic events
If the definition of insanity is doing the same thing and expecting different results, then the people who anticipated this latest failed prediction are absolutely, frothing at the mouth, street corner screaming certifiable.
But then I think we all already knew that.
checks list Cool, the one I added (and documented) is still listed.
Well, we’re getting close though. Only 5 more left.
American Christians. Never heard anyone else use the term rapture.
The article mentions the preacher who started this rapture excitement is from South Africa
Somewhere, one single person was raptured and wondering where everyone else is. No one else noticed their absence. But the rapture did happen.
“Just me? Really?”
This happened in AD 221.
The rapture happened ages ago, but none of us went to heaven. We’re staying along for the ride.
Because it’s impossible to be good, in the words of Eleanor Shellstrop: “There’s this chicken sandwich that if you eat it, it means you hate gay people. And it’s delicious!”
I’m sorry but Chick-fil-A is bland as fuck and I’ll never understand why people love it so much. The chicken is always dry, the sauce selection sucks, and the lettuce & tomato are always warm & soggy. I just don’t get it. Even by fast food standards, the quality is shit. I’ve been to multiple locations and they’re all the same.
Yes Lot, just don’t look back, or I’ll kill you.
And then the probing began.
The one raptured dude was super high on fent so they assumed it was an OD.
Nice try.
The Rapture did happen, and you failed to make the cut.
Actually, this is something I could relate to.
This is hell. Like, literally.
It’s 2025 and the Daily Star is now considered one of the more relevant and trustworthy news sources. And not because they’ve improved themselves.
In our era, a new way of winning the race to be the British Newspaper with the most Journalistic Integrity appeared: just stand still as a tabloid with little or no Journalistic Integrity whilst everybody else just runs by you in the opposite direction of “better” on their way to Pure Propagand Outlet.
Every time the rapture doesn’t happen they seem more convinced that it will happen in the future.
I really should get into the property market around the time the next rapture announcement comes out because surely they’ll be selling all their houses off right. If you timed it right you could go on a really expensive holiday and save money by not paying for a return flight.
I think I saw someone selling “rapture insurance” a while a go. Iirc they pay a one time fee to get on a registry and they would go around and collect pets that didn’t get raptured with their owners.
What? But the rapture was last night, didn’t anyone tell them?
They are more convinced. “When prophecy fails” was first published in 1956, it’s well documented.
Well I went to heaven, just as predicted. Let me tell you: it is GREAT up here. And free WiFi too, as you can see.
Cool. How’s the food? Are there orgies?
Food is surprisingly good actually. Lots of grapes. No Orgies yet, but they drag Epstein from hell everyday to give us all bjs.
What if they gave a rapture and nobody left?
What if the rapture happened and the only thing that dissapeared were the Epstein files?
Oh God, don’t even give them any ideas. I’m already worried with all this symbolism trying to make Charlie Kirk into Jesus they’re going to try and claim he was resurrected at some point.
“This was all part of God’s plan.”
Wait people were taking the rapture seriously
My aunt is basically a crazy evangelical, and yes, she thinks we are living in the end times, and wants to usher in the end times faster so she can get to heaven. Its batshit insane.
Bud, my entire family says this every time I talk to them. Which is rare, thankfully.
Kooky shit.
You guys, we have the best opportunity. Next time they hold a Rapture, we all just go completely cold turkey silent for like, three days. Let them all think they’ve been left behind. Then we all come back to social media and the rest of the real world on the third day like, “whoa, that was so cool, what was your favourite part of it?”
