In retrospect, I should apologize for posting such a shitty article from such a shitty source. I did it for the laughs.
So, reading the short article, only one infected monkey escaped, per the sheriff’s office. Then the University they are from clarified that their infected monkeys are not contagious, and there were no infected monkeys on that truck.
The monkeys are for primate virology research.
Nice reminder of just how hard spun headlines are.
Oh most definitely. But I won’t let that get in the way of having a good laugh.
To be fair to the original poster this news article has been revised multiple times since original publication. When it was first posted the article contents very much matched the headline but subsequent changes were made that included things like the clarifications from the university.
This should be the top post.
I boo you
RFK Jr will be very worried that his newly recruited team for the health and human services department had an accident whilst travelling to their new government offices.
clears throat WHY?!?!
My monkey shipment!?!? There goes my weekend plans.
Calm down Dr. Evil
Listen, sometimes you need one hundred trillion dollars
Now tell me there was 12 monkeys in there
I actually had this one on my 2025 bingo card.
Nice
451 is a great error code. It’s a reference to Fahrenheit 451, and is used to indicate government censorship. In this case it’s being used all wrong, and almost ironic in nature.
418 is a fun one too. “I’m a teapot”
418 is always a little disappointing though. Lots of projects out there touting their “full HTCPCP compatibility” when all they do is serve 418 to every request; no actual coffeepots I could find last time I looked.
Sounds like the problem is trying to make teapots capable of coffee pot control protocol.
It’s still the net, but it’s not very inter these days
First rule of 12 monkeys club is that you do not talk about 12 monkeys club
Were they jumping on the bed?
Right Wing conspiracy in 3… 2…
The crazy part is they were headed to Florida…
Which means despite all the existing infections, they were likely meant as a control group /s
Driver was drinking Tylenol.
At this point I’m just like, yeah, that may just as well happen.
When air force 1 goes down:
You beat me to it…
Dear God… Just why!?!
A friend of mine sent me the first screenshot and I thought the Facebook account had just been hacked.
They changed the article title but the URL still holds the goods.
I know they would just get in people’s attics and cause mayhem, but Jesus fuck I’ve always wished the American southeast had wild monkeys I am rooting for the sole survivor
The story has been updated with information from people who know what they’re talking about (as opposed to the idiot sheriff who made that claim)
Fair enough. But I hadn’t posted it for factual value.
Ah yes. I forgot the news, and reality has taken a “Who’s Line is it Anyways?” approach to interpreting reality. Everythings made up, and the points don’t matter.
I commented because I assumed the article had been updated since you posted it but…isn’t this community for real news that looks like satire? Doesn’t the factual value kinda really matter?
