I could have tripped, knocked over my keyboard, cried for 13 straight minutes on the floor, picked my keyboard back up, accidentally hit the enter key making a graph and it would have made more sense than this thing.

-2x faster. What does that even mean?

This mentality is why I almost failed higbschool. Boredom fails us who need to be constantly invested.

How is that not the onion?

Man: climbs tower and sits

Dumbass on the internet: Litterally terrorism.

The mental gymnastics is gold medal worthy.

Close, copious amounts of sugar

Hesburger? Interesting, I’ll have to look that up, haven’t heard of it.

“Calls for Europe to stop eating garbage food like Americans.” Sounds like a good idea to me.