doug

Pull out, don’t pull out, we’re fucked either way.

right in the exhaust pipe 😩

fuck cars

“no sloppy Windows, guys— I mean it.”
“LET’S SLOP IT UP!”

I think it was a Reddit scraper years ago that taught me that I should probably lie more often on the internet about my work, friends, family details, etc.

Just like, little lies that don’t really matter in the comment, but would misdirect an AI or investigator into things that aren’t true.

It’s just so much woooooork to think about this shit. And to come up with different screen names everywhere? And to like, sub to a city I don’t live in and comment there about shit I know nothing about? Exhausting.

Thankfully my brothers and three uncles are here to support me. And my alligator.

It is!? Noooooooo! TIL

sadly I’ll likely support them through any shitty decisions they make as they are the only viable non-chromium alternative these days.

I get they’re chasing the buck and trying to stay relevant, but uhhhh… if they could be less Steve Buscemi-teen about it, that’d be great.

Lightning in a bottle, that cast.

Well, most of that cast.

My ~19 year old account was permabanned after three strikes that involved two upvotes of Luigi pictures and then— after seeing a vid of Trump falling asleep— saying he shouldn’t wake up.

Then my alt got a warning for “disparaging communities” after I said one of the two PDX subreddits started so they could talk shit about houseless people, which is a fact.

Three of those were flagged by AI, the last one— the warning— was a person flagging it and couldn’t be contested.

It’s gone to the dogs.

that’s my landlord’s problem 😎

“Hey Copilot, what have Putin and Trump been exchanging emails about?”

Don’t be fooled: if RAM had the chance it would kill everyone and everything you’ve ever loved.

Ew, DailyMail? On the one hand the tabloids sure knows how to drive engagement, and I like to encourage engagement on Lemmy to help it grow…

…on the other hand, ew DailyMail.

“Oh the inhumanity!”

I have “breaking news” alerts enabled on my phone and, let me tell ya, they never fucking stop.

I really don’t like the use of “ideal” for this; it’s like “the ideal conditions for serial killers,” but uh, I guess it’s as cromulent as any other word.

They’re gonna take away my Projectivy, aren’t they? 😔

Or “POPE SAYS NOPE” as it would say on a tabloid.

“I must go, my planet needs me.”

Any dregs of positive feeling I might’ve had for this are far overwritten by their passing that measure that guts voting rights to the senate.