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NightOwl@lemmy.ca to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 months ago

Michael Bay to Direct Operation Epic Fury Rescue Film About Two Pilots Recovered From Iran

variety.com

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Michael Bay to Direct Operation Epic Fury Rescue Film About Two Pilots Recovered From Iran

variety.com

NightOwl@lemmy.ca to Not The Onion@lemmy.worldEnglish · 2 months ago
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Michael Bay is directing another film about a real-life military incident, this one from Trump's recent ongoing conflict with Iran.
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  • Davel23@fedia.io
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    2 months ago

    I’d be more interested in a movie about how he stole Justin Bieber’s hair.

    • Tollana1234567@lemmy.today
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      2 months ago

      stole carrot tops hair, and use shampoo/conditioning.

  • tidderuuf@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    Film to be based upon the accounts of U.S. service members. Which means it won’t be anything near the truth and is just gonna look cool with big explosions and for some reason a high speed vehicle chase scene.

    • CaliforniaSober@lemmy.ca
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      2 months ago

      But how is John Krasinski supposed to make a living?!!! I mean Pam is only so shitty… you can’t make a living off someone being a literal cutout of stupid talking points…

      Or… you could make a series about aliens keying into your wife making noise…

    • PhatalFlaw@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      More realistically, it’ll be based on the pentagon’s accounts of the accounts of the service members.

      • turtlesareneat@piefed.ca
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        2 months ago

        The pentagon claims everyone the pilots encountered immediately tried to defect to us so hard, they were actually worshipped as gods. No combat, and gas prices fell to $1 where they are now.

    • Tomtits@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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      2 months ago

      Will the one chasing be a Hilux with a machine gun on the bed?

      • 𝕱𝖎𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        It’ll be a cybertruck

        • Tomtits@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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          2 months ago

          Inexplicably in Iran

    • Bronzebeard@lemmy.zip
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      2 months ago

      It’s Michael Bay, all of that was a given.

    • D_C@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      Will the high speed vehicle chase come before or after the slow motion shots of the american flags blowing in the wind?

      • Lodespawn@aussie.zone
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        2 months ago

        Yes, also during

  • Sanctus@anarchist.nexus
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    2 months ago

    This summer

    helicopter noises and a choir sustain

    The most epic rescue operation of a failed nuclear bomb drop you’ll ever see grace the silver screens

    wide shot of the bomb waving down helicopter from earlier

    • CaliforniaSober@lemmy.ca
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      2 months ago

      Mother fucker you dont understand the sacrifice of a few guys holding back unequipped folks while more sacrifice was made to save other sacrifices of folks equipped with jesus who had to sacrifice others in the ten minutes to Jesus you take for granted…. This is Abraham and you are pieces of shit that don’t understand how this is sacrificed in ways that you have never sacrificed while we all wage a holy sacrifice…

      • P00ptart@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        You need at least one “brothers and sisters” and “family”.

      • Sanctus@anarchist.nexus
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        2 months ago

        Top tier honestly no notes

      • docandersonn@literature.cafe
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        2 months ago

        I searched this text verbatim in Google because I don’t understand the context of this rant, and the AI thought I was in crisis and directed me to a suicide helpline.

        • CaliforniaSober@lemmy.ca
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          2 months ago

          <hint> It’s not real! <\hint>

          Clearly you aren’t aware of the awesome sacrifice made of the 13 hours of holy sacrifice Jesus made for our boys to sacrifice! Motherfucker this is righteousness for our sacrifice… Sacrifice!
          BRING OUR BOYS HOME

    • dan69@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Don’t forget light flares…

  • notsosure@sh.itjust.works
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    2 months ago

    How will Michael explain the extraordinary 110 mile difference between the two landing sites of the two pilots? The tension is unbearable, I’m literally already holding on to my seat.

    • Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      Landing site, or where they were picked up? Because one of them was picked up a lot later than the other, and was evading Iranian forces the whole time.

      So a big part of that distance could have been them moving around on the ground.

      • notsosure@sh.itjust.works
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        2 months ago

        110 miles? Did he have a bike or what?

        • Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works
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          2 months ago

          I think the pilot was on the ground for two days, or close to it. It’s not an insane distance for a very fit individual to cover over that time.

        • FuglyDuck@lemmy.world
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          2 months ago

          Might have stolen (or otherwise acquired,) a car or truck.

          It’s not like Iran is totally without development.

          • notsosure@sh.itjust.works
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            2 months ago

            Hmm. I’m guessing they were in two different planes. But I’m sure Michael will reveal all ;-)

            • Ilovethebomb@sh.itjust.works
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              2 months ago

              It was the same plane.

              • notsosure@sh.itjust.works
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                2 months ago

                So, the plane is crashing, the pilot bails out first and then the technician, who then hits the ground 110 miles farther away (meaning he left the plane AT LEAST 4.4 minutes later, what was he doing, calling his mother?). Apparently the technician was wounded, so how could he travel on foot or by what type of transportation the distance? This is a very weird story.

    • FaceDeer@fedia.io
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      2 months ago

      They picked the right director, Michael Bay movies aren’t expected to make sense.

  • potoooooooo 🥔@lemmy.world
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    2 months ago

    I hope he casts himself as the star, too.

  • Onsotumenh@discuss.tchncs.de
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    2 months ago

    Yay for propaganda.

  • stumu415@lemmy.zip
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    2 months ago

    Urgh…

  • katy ✨@piefed.blahaj.zone
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    2 months ago

    weve never seen the pilot yet they had a movie ready to go

    ok

  • Lodespawn@aussie.zone
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    2 months ago

    This is the first time I’ve seen a picture of Michael Bay and he looks exactly like the kind of person who would make Michael Bay movies.

  • neuracnu@lemmy.blahaj.zone
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    2 months ago

    Wasn’t he busy with that skibidy toilet movie?

  • green_goglin@thelemmy.club
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    2 months ago

    Alright, who else is willing to bet that Brett Ratner is an executive producer ?

    https://www.yahoo.com/entertainment/movies/articles/melania-director-brett-ratner-accompanying-203427719.html

  • 4am@lemmy.zip
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    2 months ago

    He’s not even finished the Skibiti Toilet movie yet

    • Wataba@sh.itjust.works
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      2 months ago

      I would unironically pick that trashheap over the suckers and losers biopic at this point.

    • HeyJoe@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Its no longer relevant anymore either. You cant even make a movie in the amount of time where people still care.

  • uuj8za@piefed.social
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    2 months ago

    Not only will America go to your country and kill all your people. But they’ll come back 20 years later and make a movie about how killing your people made their soldiers feel sad.

    • Frankie Boyle
    • 😈MedicPig🐷BabySaver😈@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Ha, 20 minutes…

    • 𝕱𝖎𝖗𝖊𝖜𝖎𝖙𝖈𝖍@lemmy.world
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      2 months ago

      Damn we’re really speedrunning here

      • Eager Eagle@lemmy.world
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        2 months ago

        I-ran

  • HootinNHollerin@lemmy.dbzer0.com
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    2 months ago

    Yikes fuck this country

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