I don’t think it’s unlucky just stupid. In bdsm we have something called RACK (risk aware consensual kink) where before a scene or activity you have to study risks, anatomy, and physiology as deeply as you can and then do negotiations with your partner where you discuss all the risks and establish safe words and alternative non-verbal cues, and everything that could go wrong and the protocol that will be followed if it does go wrong, while changing things and substituting some aspects with others that would achieve the same goal but more safely.
You also generally don’t participate in extreme activities with a new partner especially if someone is inexperienced.
I do rope. I’m out of practice, but that’s my jam. I know someone online and IRL, but mostly online, that really wants to be tied up. Getting them to meet up again in person again so we can talk through an entire scene, and make sure that it’s fully safe and consensual is like pulling teeth. It’s… Worrisome. I know that some of the things they want simply aren’t going to happen; breath play is already extremely risky (altho, hmmmmm, I just realized that I could clip and O2 saturation monitor to a toe, and that would alert to dangerous conditions…), doing it when tied up vastly increases the risk. They’re experienced in other BDSM activities, but not rope work, and I get the feeling that they haven’t been overly concerned with safety in the past.
I don’t think it’s unlucky just stupid. In bdsm we have something called RACK (risk aware consensual kink) where before a scene or activity you have to study risks, anatomy, and physiology as deeply as you can and then do negotiations with your partner where you discuss all the risks and establish safe words and alternative non-verbal cues, and everything that could go wrong and the protocol that will be followed if it does go wrong, while changing things and substituting some aspects with others that would achieve the same goal but more safely.
You also generally don’t participate in extreme activities with a new partner especially if someone is inexperienced.
A kind of “due dilligence”
Heh.
I do rope. I’m out of practice, but that’s my jam. I know someone online and IRL, but mostly online, that really wants to be tied up. Getting them to meet up again in person again so we can talk through an entire scene, and make sure that it’s fully safe and consensual is like pulling teeth. It’s… Worrisome. I know that some of the things they want simply aren’t going to happen; breath play is already extremely risky (altho, hmmmmm, I just realized that I could clip and O2 saturation monitor to a toe, and that would alert to dangerous conditions…), doing it when tied up vastly increases the risk. They’re experienced in other BDSM activities, but not rope work, and I get the feeling that they haven’t been overly concerned with safety in the past.