Double edged sword, since it’s good that we can actually remember said experiences and maybe pass the wisdom down.
Nearly everyone has many opportunities they have never taken because they choose not to. How many older people have never
- ridden a motorcycle
- gone fishing
- gone hiking
- knitted
- cooked a complex meal
- gone sailing
- been skydiving
- read a lengthy book series
- played in a local sports league
- coached children
- painted a house
- painted artwork
- sculpted anything
- built a simple things out of wood
- built a complicated thing out of wood
- welded
- taken a canoe/kayak/inner tube down a river
- gone white water rafting
- travel (all kinds!)
All of these things are accessible to the average physically fit person into their 60s. Even the ones that don’t often have special access options for those with disabilities.
But people frequently choose not to try some things because they assume they won’t like them or because of construction concerns, but they also overlook a lot of free or nearly free experiences that they could always try. I haven’t even done all of the things in my example list!
Some things, such as:
knitted been skydiving played in a local sports league
either don’t seem worth the time, effort and other investment vs other new experiences that could be had for less time, effort, expense, risk, etc.
A poster above hit a key point: responsibility. I’ll extend it with: children. At some point, if you have children you care about, helping them get the most out of life, both while you are here and after you are gone, takes precedent. Instead of running a bucket list check-sheet for yourself, the real challenge is ensuring that your children can do the things they want to do in their lives.
I did a new thing just this weekend, wasn’t even on your list.
I theorize that this is the leading cause of “gap” between generations. Adults who are emotionally inept always say “it doesn’t hurt that bad,” “heartbreaks heal,” “you’ll get over this issue you are facing,” “you’ll forget all about this,” or something similar. Those kids are going through something that they haven’t ever experienced, and that hurts or is scary.
Adults have the experience to understand that things can change, but frequently lack the wisdom to empathize with the “new” factor for the kid.
Every moment in time is unique, every second that passes is a new second with a new world state. Yes there are similarities and patterns, but by shifting your focus you can always find a new way to look at the world.
Instead of trying to recreate Christmas morning 1995 for yourself, try to create Christmas morning 2025 for someone else.
But if you live long enough it’s all new again! Some good lines from Andy Huggins, 74-year old standup comic:
“Went to the doctor to see if I had arthritis. Turns out I have early onset rigor mortis.”
“The great thing about dating women my age is I don’t have to meet their parents.”
“Anybody ever drop their phone in the toilet? I did that, so I put it in a bag of rice.
Anybody ever drop a bag of rice in the toilet?”This can be good: I don’t go out of my way to recommend mediocre things just because they’re the first good (or even just acceptable) version of a thing that I’ve encountered.
Perspective is a gift.
I’ve found the higher income of older age unlocks all kinds of “firsts” that I simply couldn’t afford when I was younger and living with a beater car and a ramen noodle budget.
Further, as I’ve gotten older the value of different “firsts” shifts dramatically. “First roller coaster” was an important first of my childhood while sitting in an office where Abraham Lincoln’s practiced law eating a piece of pie in what is now a restaurant was a much more important “first” that my childhood self wouldn’t have cared about. The pie is fantastic too!
I found that when I lived with a beater car and ramen noodle budget, I had several months of free time per year to do things that I have never been able to repeat since getting “a real income.” Life sucks that way.
The time, yes, but the resources? There are monetary limits to many “firsts”.
Yes, absolutely. However, on $14K/yr income (in 1990), with a beater car, ramen diet and cheap room rent, I was taking summers off and flying to Europe. Sure, I’d stay in youth hostels and travel on the train pass or rented bike, but 3 months in Europe didn’t even cost $4000 out of my $14K income.
Domestic trips in the beater car were of course even cheaper, as long as I mooched lodging off of friends and family.
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This is also why time apparently moves faster when you are older. Your brain has fewer novel experiences, and because a deep part of your consciousness yearns for familiarity and regularity, you gravitate towards rote memorization of more and more of your living experience and move forward on autopilot. Time dilation is very real, and especially noticable if you spend a few decades in repetitive cycles.
Honestly it’s why marriages/partnerships fall apart, why people experience midlife crises, and why (traditional) conservativism is so easily fostered in older people. New is scary and dangerous. Same is safe and navigable. It sneaks up on you, too.
No wories. Just wait a bit. It won’t be long before all your experiences will feel like new ones again
Jimmy, is that you? Little Jimmy from the house across the creek! Oh, we had such fun together.
There’s always something new. I didn’t think I would experience cardiac arrest but here we are. The great thing is no known cause. Yay so fun.
How, even as seasoned veterans of experience, can we preserve a sense of wonder throughout our lives?
. . . truly contemplating the world — truly attending to and feeling wonder for it — can help dissolve the separations we artificially impose upon life.
Your post reminded me this short article, on maintaining wonder and awe through awareness. Its less about the comparison, and more about the appreciation.
Inescapable movie reference: The Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind.
The flip side is things you have mastered over the years change, which is also annoying. Like the simple act of ordering at a McDonald’s drive through.
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Problem is that you now have no new experiences at all anymore, only the old ones remain.
The worst part of getting old is the non-stop physical pain, making you forget what it was like to just have a single, solitary day without it.
The worst part of getting old is seeing people make the same mistakes over and over and over again. That and disco revivals.
Isn’t that the same statement twice?
