I’ve taken a couple uber rides in a Tesla and I wish they’d give you the option to select NOT THAT. I just stared at the stupid door button the whole time
“sorry but i wont climb into your death trap. i will wait for the next available driver.”
FFS, design standards exist for a reason. Quit trying to reinvent the wheel, or car doors as it is here.
How in the fuck did a truck without a manual override for exiting the vehicle ever make it to market? Everything is broken.
IIRC it has a manual override, it’s just stupidly hard to find.
Corruption.
ouch oof my bones
You have 30 seconds to escape your car
You have 10 seconds
Your car has been incinerated
Your car has burned your bones to ash
You have 30 minutes to collect your ash
🤷
Sounds like a great way to fake your death. The only problem is that everyone will think you died driving a Tesla.
Good point. Back to the drawing board.
No one’s going to believe a drawing board disappeared a body.
Ehhh, you’d be surprised what the modern drawing board can do.
I present you the drAIwing board, our latest break through!
Or dispose of evidence.
Or BOTH !
It… also costs
100kEdit: sorry, sorry, 70k — much better
I mean if you’re faking your death I don’t think you’re planning on paying off the loan
Yeah, I guess that’s true
you’re right. no one would believe that
When we finally start eating the rich, we will have readily available fires to cook them over.
Wasnt there a maga dude that blew up his cybertruck in front of a hotel?
So much has happened last few years…
I can’t fathom having my husband burn to death so badly that he’s just … evaporated. But then again I can’t imagine my husband ever wanting a cybercuck so there’s also that.
I can’t imagine my husband.
I can’t imagine
I can’t
I
My wife and I are in need of a truck since we moved to a rural area and need one for stuff like trash disposal and whatnot. We’ve decided to get something practical like a hundai santafe or honda ridgeline
Do either of those evaporate your bones?
Sadly, no
Well not with that attitude
Comment of the week right here Username makes it even better
😬
The Ford Pinto wishes it was this deadly…
I daily a Fiero and don’t think even at its worst point people burned inside trapped without handles.
I kinda love the Fiero tbh
Oh same, but they are not well built and the iron duke is shit. I have to have 3 of them to keep one on the road working. at least they are good on gas. One day I might do an EV conversion.
I wonder if the 2.2l from an S10 could be swapped in? Like an LS swap but more pathetic.
I think your fiero is from the post-Nader era in u.s. car manufacturing.
designed during, built after yes.
A true Tesla them, no?
Finally, a reason to like Cybertrucks.
Ah, I see you are a fan of child bbqs. Those damn kids in the back deserve to suffer for the crimes of their parents after all.
Don’t Teslas have the highest crash fatality stats on the road or something? Terrible company.
But maybe they have the lowest crash rate?
So like, crashes cost money right? Someone is responsible. Someone has to pay.
But if everyone dies in an inferno, then nobody is responsible. Who can pay? They’re all dead! What medical bills? What repairs? It’s all a write off.
Sounds like a high mortality rate with low accident rate is an absolute profitable win! Free market baby!According to the article they have higher crash rates and fatalities because the drivers are worse. The cars themselves actually rate fairly high in safety standards.
That being said, I think the safety evaluations are flawed and don’t consider things like electronic locks.
With 'murican healthcare prices the fatality rate is a feature.
You even get a free cremation. Saves time and money!
God bless the free market
Cybertrucks are 17 times more likely to kill you in a fiery way than the Ford Pinto, the previous record holder.
https://www.motherjones.com/politics/2025/02/report-cybertruck-safety-ford-pinto/
I’m not in any way trying to downplay how bad the cyber-dumpster is, but is that an adequate sample size to extrapolate the fiery-death rate? The article says 17 times the rate of the Pinto, but it was only 5 total fires.
I mean they made millions of Pintos so yeah
Different person, but the Pinto controversy was overblown. Media hype made it an issue when it had similar incident rates with other vehicles at the time.
Ford Pinto - Wikipedia https://share.google/A9xMle5N02j1gPmCl
The biggest issue with the Pinto was not the Pinto itself, it was how Ford discussed the potential issues with it internally. It was their very well documented preference for money over protecting human life that caused the controversy.
We know this really happens all the time, at all companies and in all industries, but Ford was punished for saying the quiet part out loud (amongst themselves) and getting caught doing it. We are all supposed to at least put on a show of human lives being more important than money, and Ford failed to put on the show, and for that they were punished.
We still don’t care about human life, but at least we all felt better about it afterwards.
There’s an episode of Swindled all about how Ford knew this was a flaw and allowed it to happen so that they could compete in the lower end market.
huh, TIL. Thanks!
So it’s just 17 times more likely to burn you to death than average cars.
Average car of the 1970s.
that implies the rate at which CTs kill occupants is even higher than that when compared to modern cars, right?
The Tesla Crematoria
+$599 Tesla Seatbottom Urn available in 2 colors.
Free cremation — it’s a service!
Feature, not a bug.
You could almost say it’s like being put into an oven.
I mean you can just say that if you really want
It will be monetised soon enough
Popup on the screen:
Your Tesla is on fire, escape is no longer possible as your subscription to “Escape Hatch” has expired. In order to enable “FlameOn ™ mode” for rapid immolation, please approve the one time payment of $4,206.90
CaaS
