This is not said with any kind of malice to the trans community, I respect my trans homies. But literally no one gives a shit about dudes.
Sounds like you need better friends.
I wish it were that simple, and not a whole-ass culture that’s made it okay to be casually cruel to men.
That’s not really enough.
Also, such a small part of men are able to hug other men that if everybody needed to have those few as their friends, they’d very quickly run out of friendship capacity.
It takes two to hug. If everyone needs a hug why can’t they hug each other?
Most have no idea they need a hug.
They don’t want to because it would be gay. They want to be real men. And they feel sad and lonely and lost. If someone somehow got them to understand that all we men really need to do in order to be actually happy is to hug each other, this world would stop being a nightmare for us all.
You’re acting like it’s a physical impossibility…
I played sports thru college and then joined the military, me and my friends from those periods hug when we see each other.
Nothing weird about it.
There are men who are too insecure to hug other men, which is what you replied to:
Sounds like you need better friends.
Men secure in their own masculinity don’t have any problems hugging other men. And insecure men likely have toxic traits that make them bad friends.
You’re acting like it’s a physical impossibility…
Why would it be a physical impossibility? Doesn’t seem to be for me. Or have I just thought what I do is hugging while in reality it’s not? Please elaborate.
Men secure in their own masculinity don’t have any problems hugging other men. And insecure men likely have toxic traits that make them bad friends.
Yes. How many men are secure in their masculinity? 5%? If the remaining 95 % can only have those 5 % as their friends, how do they find sufficient time for all that friendship?
For most men non-toxic men are not available for friendships. And especially: I don’t want to be friends with a toxic asshole, regardless of how much he moght (unbeknownst to himself…) need my friendship.
Why would it be a physical impossibility? Doesn’t seem to be for me
…
For most men non-toxic men are not available for friendships
You’re openly contradicting yourself over and over and just insisting the majority of men are shit
Have fun with that I guess
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As a transfem person, you’re not that wrong. I’ve noticed much more caring from people after I transitioned. There are negative effects, but in general I’ve got much more positive attention than negative. People shouldn’t be prejudiced against cis men just because of their gender :(
Listen, I am not trans; I don’t think I’d have the courage it takes. It’s definitely a very difficult path. The post was just meant to highlight that it’s hard to find someone that cares.
You don’t become trans by transitioning. You become trans by your brain being exposed to to much of the wrong sex hormone during early foetal development. It causes the wiring in the brain to largely develope according to the opposite biological sex. By the time gonads are present all the hormones in the world aren’t going to change what is hard wired into the brain. So if someone who is for example genetically and phenotypically male has a female brain, and they choose not to medically transition it doesn’t mean they’re cisgender. It just means they’re sad.
I think I understand this much at least, that one transitions because they are trans, not the other way around
Yes
I mean, it’s not about difficulty, if you are trans, you find it more difficult to not transition than to transition, even though it involves pain and effort.
If you want have the opposite sex’s body, if you would take that option if it was just a simple button press, then you are trans. It’s not about a choice or a ‘path’. Your comment seems a bit confusing on that.
Yes, I was confused- thank you :)
Hang out more in leftist/anarchist circles. Any community which supports trans rights very likely also supports the idea that males get sad and need help as much as any other gender.
It’s true.
Make friends with a few trans-men and listen to their stories. The extent to which it’s become fashionable to be cruel and hateful to men has had meaningful consequences.
Hell, look at the downvotes. I bet the 20 people who downvoted didn’t even look at the thread.
Have you ever asked if they care?
Maybe we’re all just waiting for permission to take the mask off and really open up.
I haven’t asked directly if they care, but anytime I try to explain anything related to a possible emotional state I might be experiencing I tend to get shut down really hard? Or people just ignore it completely
Some guys have no interest in being anything but the manliest man they can manifest, and maybe I’m wrong, but I think there’s a lot of us who are just waiting for someone to break the ice.
I have a very good friend who started making it a habit to tell me he loves me, and dammit, I’ll say it right back because I do love him like a brother. I don’t love my other friends less, but, that shame that hides in my brain tells me I can’t do that to them.
I’ll sneak it in the group chat. Let’s all try to open that door for each other!
I appreciate you
Thanks! And thanks for the inspiring post!
I have learned that communication and empathy between men and between women are very different. Other genders tend to have more complex dynamics.
I think women communicate their empathy more openly. Men usually hide their empathy in gestures or phrases. And I think it’s really hard to show empathy as a man and still “conform”, and as an outsider it’s hard to understand the way men show empathy.
That said I think you are right to some degree (although there is a better way to phrase it, hence the down votes), you are kinda limited in how much empathy you get from men because of the way they communicate. And if they show more, their non-conformity can pose a social risk that can be dangerous to their social acceptance / standing, although I might be speaking from my own perspective here as an AuDHD guy. Turns out when you have autism you are a walking risk so learning this is just a matter of time and risk is baked into every social interaction.
What I’m trying to say is: I think you are right, I think the reasons are very complex but I think bro culture needs an upgrade in that regard.
