Let’s say a man decides to change his last name for no other reason than he hates his dad’s last name, and that dad refuses to call his son by his new last name. Then, in my opinion, his son should be 100% allowed to call him any mean name or slur he wants—‘dick,’ ‘shithead,’ the R slur, whatever. You shouldn’t get to disrespect people and expect respect back, so if this person gets called a slut and gets mad, I really can’t feel sympathy for him.
I think that only escalates the conflict minimising the probability of a resolve dramatically…
I think what you two need is long honest talk where both parties give their best listening and trying to understand each others feelings and beliefs.
The best method to achieve this is different for any relationship, for some it together at a dire with some beers, for some it is hiking etc. Basically a place where both feel secure and have their privacy together.