My answer to that is “have we slept together?”
Make them feel that forgettable!
Thought came about after meeting with a big group of old friends from college. One I wasn’t very close with had a new girlfriend. After we shook hands she asked if I remembered her. I didn’t but apparently we had gone on a tinder date 5ish years ago. I have zero recollection but I was doing a lot of tinder/hinge dates at that time. The guy uncomfortably told me several times throughout the night that its not a big deal and hes not mad. He was very clearly not happy about it and it was very clearly a big deal for him lol.
Ask him out on a date to even the scores.
Not a bad idea but he’s not really my type and a don’t think my lady would appreciate it anyway.
Please return with updates
Happens to me regularly, thanks to ADHD and a horrendous memory for faces.
My most embarassing memory is from my 2nd day at Uni, sitting next to a really nice woman, having a great chat. After a while I say, “btw, I’m SorryImLate” and she says, “I know, we sat together yesterday”.
That ended both the conversation and a promising friendship 🫤
I once went to a friend’s party and encountered someone I didn’t know, so I introduced myself. A bit later we all got in the pool, wherein I saw someone I didn’t know and introduced myself.
It was the same person.
Fortunately, she found it funny and my wife tells the story to this day.
Are we to gather that they became your wife?
No, but I realized after I made that post that it did kind of read that way.
At the time, the woman who is now my wife was a relatively fresh girlfriend. She moved to the area to be close to me (though we live in her hometown now) so I took her with me everywhere I could. This was especially true for social events; I don’t have many social graces now, but I had even fewer back then and she often helped me recover whenever I made a faux pas. Also, I wanted her to be close with my friends.
In this case, I hadn’t yet heard of face blindness, but I had taken off my glasses to swim and, when I became flustered at my mistake, she explained to the new person that I just couldn’t see her clearly to identify her. Also, the other person had put her hair up and changed clothes to prepare to swim; I didn’t realize it then, but those two things were a lot of how I identify people, especially new people.
Do you keep introducing yourself to this day?
Always start with “Nice to see you” not “Nice to meet you”. Saves insult from injury 100% of the time.
Strong advice
“I think we’ve met before, but my name is Sosa just in case.”
That also solves the problem of getting their name again. Though I will still forget it in about six microseconds.
I tam very forgiving of this stuff but I’m very honest and blunt. I’ve had someone say, “nice to meet you,” and I’ve had to respond, “we’ve met twice before.” If they seem flustered I’ll tell them it’s fine, it was brief, crowded, etc.
The weird thing is for me because my facial recognition is immaculate but memory isn’t always the best. So sometimes I see people and I know them but have no idea why. Did I see them at my public facing job? Did we go to college together? Is it a random person I passed in the grocers? 🤷♀️
“Are you someone worth remembering?” is probably more embarassing
I don’t think so. When you reach a certain age, it’s incredibly difficult to remember everything. I work in marketing. I’m making a rough estimate, but I’ve shook hands with at least 100,000 people (across twenty years of business conferences).
If I made quite the impression on someone to say that, my response is to show delight and apologize! I usually start with, “Ah I’m very sorry! Please, remind me of the time and place?”
Regardless of how they answer, I usually pivot to expanding the conversation. Let’s talk about “the now”. How are they now? Are they enjoying the event/location? What’s new that might be of interest?
Yes working in sales this is near impossible. Meeting hundreds or thousands of people a year and then expecting to remember them again years later after having only met them once.
The worst was when this happened to me with a coworker I apparently worked with at a previous company. Apparently we were even on the same team even though I have no recollection of it.
Some of my responses to that:
- “wow, how long has it been?”
- ”I always remember the pretty ones, how could I forget you?”
- ”i think about you from time to time, but I never thought I’d get to see you again!”
Considering that this is probably a casual acquaintance since you don’t remember meeting them, those last two responses are straight up creepy.
“Casual acquaintance”, sure.
I suspect that you and I have different lives: in the type and number of people we meet, and in the number of locations we meet them.
Reading through Lemmy about how to act socially appropriate is wild.
We’re a bunch of autists who either don’t know, or know very well because we learned it through trauma.
I said that to my literal birthgiver once. I realise now I would’ve been better off if she continued to not know who I was.
Recently someone recognized me from a sports academy I went to 3 times when I was like 8. I’m trans. How tf
My brain is slightly broken, likely linked to autism and ADHD. I can recognise faces fine. What I can’t do is remember them properly. The brain has an area dedicated to remembering faces. In me , it just doesn’t work well. I get a blank “null” in memories where the face (and even body/outfit) should be. If I want to remember a face I need to manually break it up and store the aspects in explicit memory. It’s very annoying.
One minor plus side, it’s not completely broken. If I’m exposed to the same face enough, I can (eventually) pattern match it fine. I now take a photo of people when I add them to my phone. It helps a lot getting the required exposure.
And it can instantly become creepy as fuck if followed by “Good, then it worked.”
I just say that to eveyone I meet.
“What did you drive?” usually throws them a bit. I can remember your car. I won’t remember you lol
I’ll remember their hair more than any other feature. All it takes it a hair cut sometimes and a person becomes a stranger.
