Defense Secretary Pete Hegseth jokingly said any surge in takeout deliveries to the Pentagon — a phenomenon that has accurately predicted the start of major geopolitical events — could be him ordering pizza “just to throw everybody off.”
Asked about the “Pentagon Pizza Report,” an account on X that tracks activity at local pizza joints near the U.S. military hub, Hegseth said he was aware of the account.
“I’ve thought of just ordering lots of pizza on random nights just to throw everybody off,” he said Sunday on Fox News. “Some Friday night when you see a bunch of Dominos orders, it might just be me on an app, throwing the whole system off so we keep everybody off balance. We look at every indicator.”
Your tax dollars at work.
Do you think taxation is theft?
It’s not to buy pizza on a lark.
everyone on foodstamps buying pizza on a lark with them (including me)
no, but misuse, yes.
Only if it’s used for pizza parties.
¿ how does that comment imply taxation is theft ?
Hello? Is this Dominos?
Someone tell him about th gay bar index so he starts going there randomly too
Dude no… dont send republicans to ruin the vibe.
Tbf, they’re not sending anyone to where they haven’t been before. 🤷♂️
doubt
The Grindr server crashed on two separate Republican conventions and I’ve been seeing closeted republican men on Craigslist trolling for cock since the beginning of time. Do you need more evidence?
Do you think the same people have anonymous hook ups are publicly attending gay bars?
Do you think the same people have anonymous hook ups are publicly attending gay bars?
Tell me you’ve never been to a bar without telling me.
it’s not gay if you don’t look into each other’s eyes…
Pete Kegsbreath
We look at every indicator.
After it’s become widespread international news meaning our allies and enemies have known for at least a decade…
at least a decade…
You’re not wrong, but even this article mentions a news article from 1991… heh
That’s why he invited that reporter to his illegal Signal chat, just to throw everyone off
And what is he going to do with all of those “diversion” pizzas?
Seems like that could be a good way to feed the hungry in DC: order a large and semirandom number of pizzas to the Pentagon every night, then distribute them to homeless shelters; on nights when you’re planning or executing ops, just add to the order enough for your operation and pull them off of the pile before you redirect the rest to the shelters.
But the party of “lol your poor git gud” wouldn’t dream of such a thing. More likely they’ll toss them in the dumpster.
There was a tmnt toy back in the day that had a pizza cannon (I think it was the turtle van). I think tech might have caught up to that point by now to do it in real life.
Americans shouldn’t starve in such a wealthy nation, but there’s just not enough money here. Do not. Touch. The
defensewar budget. Such a shame, homeless veterans and all thatLoved the joke, and it gives me an idea that might actually make this work: rather than sending it to a random homeless shelter every day, send it to a veteran’s shelter.
That would do nothing to block the alleged information leak. You’d simply count the number of pizzas reaching homeless shelters instead, and if there’s a lower than normal amount, you know we’re gonna invade Iran. I mean, know it even harder.
It’s not to track via homeless shelters, the joke is that he’s willing to waste food as Americans face food concerns.
I know. And the joke is that it wouldn’t work for other reasons.
If you pull some random amount off the stack every day and store it to pass along on the next day, and build up a rolling reserve before pulling from that reserve for invasion day, you could hide that tell pretty effectively.
This is precisely how it should be done and how it would never be done because of their abject incompetence, the absurdity of the whole idea aside. :)
Okay, fuck, he got me, that’s really funny. Good job. Now please submit to The Hague, confess everything, and spend the rest of your life in prison.
A decade ago I was like, “FOX hosts are vile, disgusting, fucking goblins, but at least they’re not in government”.
I refuse to accept this is the reality I exist in.
“Thought about” and “might just” are two phrases middle aged white guys use when we want to talk big and then never follow through. I’d be shocked if he puts in one “fake” order, and highly doubt he’ll be able to be consistent enough to throw off the tracker.
Or maybe they’ll do one fake order the day before the real one and keep doing it like that, and the half-assing just means the pizza index predicts it one day earlier.
Right. He’s too fucking dumb to pull off even random pizza orders. In any case, everyone knows that to really throw people off the scent you tell them about your plans, right? What a fucking muppet.
He thought of ordering lots of pizza? What a genius mastermind.
Pretty sure he said this exact thing last year when the Pizza Index was correct. Is this a cute little gem he just has on standby?
Yes, except it’s not cute, nor really a game. Just stupidity. But otherwise, you’re right :)
“No raises this year, gentlemen. And ladies. But hey, PIZZA PARTY!!”
You know he doesn’t tip, so they’re not delivering twice.
Aren’t all the pedos using “pizza” as covert code for child pornography ?
You’re joking about your own ineptitudes? Bold strategy
Well at least our troops will be fat asses just like he wants them.
