

‘Iran could develop time travel and kill Milton Friedman!’ JD Vance
‘Iran could develop zero point energy and antigravity tech to leave the planet to die in the hellscape we’ve gleefully created while they travel the cosmos!’ JD Vance
‘Iran could develop couches that chop off dicks!’ JD Vance





I accidentally brought handcuffs into a flight on August 2001. The TSA agent who found them asked what I planned to do with them.
Being a teenager, the answer was obviously that I kept them in my jacket to pull them out and show my high-school friends how quirky and cool I was. But being a teenager, I didn’t realize how endearing that response would be, so I blurted out the first thing that came to mind, which was somehow better and worse.
“I’m visiting my girlfriend!”
She gave me a slow blink and said “Well, alright then, go get your freak on!” (Or something of a similar sentiment - time has robbed me of the exact phasing.)