Halftime Donald Jesus Trump, nailed to the cross. Let’s make this happen! Or we can just read the Epstein files instead.
Trump can read?
Nope, just going to draw doodles in sharpie.
There may be a new version for sale soon after with ‘corrections’, the orange trump bible, only costs 100% more than similar ones.
Then he’ll keep doing it to update it.
Ezekiel 23:20
AMEN!
Deut. 21:18-21
What to do if your kid is lazy and drinks too much? According to the Bible:
18 If a man have a stubborn and rebellious son, which will not obey the voice of his father, or the voice of his mother, and that, when they have chastened him, will not hearken unto them:
19 Then shall his father and his mother lay hold on him, and bring him out unto the elders of his city, and unto the gate of his place;
20 And they shall say unto the elders of his city, This our son is stubborn and rebellious, he will not obey our voice; he is a glutton, and a drunkard.
21 And all the men of his city shall stone him with stones, that he die
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Deuteronomy+21%3A18-21&version=KJV
Parts of Deuteronomy sound like someone’s fetish fanfic.
Trump and other top Republicans will do a table read of Pulp Fiction
“It’S nOt a CuLt!!1!”
“I wanna be the very best, like no one ever was.” Lapras 6:9
Pete Hegseth
Did they put “Donald Trump” and “reading” in one sentence? That’s going to be funny…
Jesus will be jessie by the end.
Well nothing shows how religious you are like raping children in an island with your best buddy Epstein…
“Suffer little children, and forbid them not, to come unto me.”
- Literally Jesus
💦💦💦🤤
Asking Trump to read a chapter from the Bible is like asking ChatGPT to count to 200. He is incapable of speaking that long without making stuff up. If it’s pre-recorded, watch for it to be a deepfake.
😱 mrw I see this is not the Onion link and instead is not the onion group.
Nope, just child rapists reading a book that supports child rape.
Don’t you think that’s a bit reductionist? I mean, you’ll also find commands for genocide and slavery.
All religion is filled with the same shit. Who could guess that 2,000 years ago was filled with crazy believes?
Now that genuinely is reductionist
History says you are wrong. War, famine, forced rape, current political system… all are products of religion. You can’t build something with the thought that only one gets the cookie in the end.
You said all religion is filled with the same shit, which is profoundly ignorant. Nowhere did I say that religion hasn’t caused atrocities. But if you think that all religious traditions are the same, you have some reading to do.
Dont move the post. I said all religions. I said nothing about traditions. That is a completely different topic.
Please demonstrate how Buddhism supports child rape.
You do know they support arranged marriages? They are not all happen to marry a guy they don’t love or want.
Who’s ‘they’? And what does arranged marriage have to do with child rape?
Could you reread your own comment and tell me who ‘they’ are, according to your grammar, and what their beliefs are? Namely, are ‘they’ the arranged brides who do in fact support arranged marriage?
Sorry. High
The first, “they”, would be referring to buddhist.
The second , “they”, was meant to be the children getting raped or from their point of view.
No religion is immune to this shit! Religion is used to divide people
I hope he turns into a pillar of salt.
I hope he turns into a burning bush.
Trump’s appearance will be from the Oval Office, where he will read from the seventh chapter of 2 Chronicles, …
meh, just a chapter. maybe comes with easy words too.
As an ex-Christian still vaguely acquainted with eschatology, seeing him choose that passage about the dedication of the temple put me directly in mind of this:
https://www.biblegateway.com/passage/?search=Matthew+24%3A15-16&version=NASB
Taking bets on how far he gets before going off on a tangent about Sleepy Joe or one of his other greatest hits?
“And Jesus looked upon the people and said” you know, I’ve said a lot of great things. People say I can’t talk about how much better things than Jesus I’ve said, but a lot of people are saying it…
“And on the third day God separated the land and sea to create the continents and oceans. Some say he did a great job, I could do better, many have said it. He put the Strait of Hormuz in Iran, I wouldn’t have done that, bad move. Thank you for your attention to this matter.”
My bet is that Trump wouldn’t be able to read a single Bible verse off a teleprompter, much less from memory.
I’m sure there will be listings on the gross prediction markets.
The world is full of shit and Don jr. is still alive.
What about misreading something, and afterwards claim the Bible is wrong?
Desperate to win back their Christian voters.
Let’s hope they know what a bible actually looks like. They would read the Pulp Fiction movie script if you told them it was a bible.
Trump can even read the Bible upside down!
Also, the Pulp Fiction reading Kegsbreath did, lol
Peter Kegsbreath, Secretary of the Department of Whores
To lazy to do it alive.
The federal is about to pump millions into buying this shit.
to lazy. you know how many takes its gonna be for him to manage to read one correctly.
He’s not gonna be reading a single line, the whole thing will be AI generated using his voice.
He might just die reading a Bible quote out loud. Don’t think he’s ever done it ever
win back
They never lost most of them
Shit on the Pope and pretty much everything Jesus advocated about, and read Bible verses performatively.
I’m the Bible, Jesus whooped some ass because of this, he flipped tables and chased people with a stick.
I believe Christ used a phrase for these people in Matthew…something like “whitewashed tombs”? “Which look beautiful on the outside, but inside are full of the bones of the dead and everything unclean”? Is this ringing a bell for anyone?
No, “ringing a bell” is when you tie a bell to someone you accidentally buried alive. Nowadays, you could just use an Pi zero and Home Assistant.
“I fucked up and got into a fight with the Pope. Here’s how I perform a grifter apology to the mouthbreathers who are just waiting for an excuse to forgive me.”
Trump would probably fall asleep within the first passage. Sadly, he wouldn’t stay that way.
No…it gets into raping and racist shit pretty quick. He likes that part. Now when proverbs or psalms hits? Your boy is gonnnnnnnnnnne!
